Mary and I 

                                                                      TIBET

Yes, you are perfectly right, I am am miserable, lazy, unproductive correspondent.   I do understand that your readers are anxious to know more about the soul of a Shaolin nun.   Many thanks for your warning on conditions in a Tibetan monastery.   

To be perfectly honest, I had not expected either lifts or central heating, so I reckon I can handle that.  

1)  As to breaking bricks with my bare hands in a sub-zero climate, well, we shall see how that goes!

2)  However, I am seriously perturbed at the prospect of not being able to wear my blue and green hat - the one with the straw canary, which you must admit was just perfect for a Tibetan winter.    

3)  With regard to clothing:  the Burka would suit me just fine.

4)  Yes, having to forego silk pants is not a probem that is likely to keep me awake at night, as I prefer cotton or linen.   However, thank you for reminding me that Tibet has fallen into the hands of China, with unspeakable consequences.

5)   As I am now used to having to embark on seventy steps to reach my 4th floor appartment, the lack of a lift is of negligable importance.

6)    Yes, having to beg in the snow for raw rice.... that could be a nasty business....but I guess with a climate of 40 below zero, I will be so grateful to get my hands on any type of food that I shall just gobble it up.   As to the whipping of the bare bottom...I reckon it will be so f...k...g cold my rear end will be f....k...g freezing, so I shalln't feel a thing.

7)     Yes, very bothersome indeed, the business of St. Patrick and Budda not being boozing buddies.    Now that is a very serious problem indeed, and one which we had not hitherto contemplated.

With regard to the issue of the picture of my posterior to keep your biking buddies happy...you can tell them to f...k off!    No, I'm joking..... We shall examine that issue separately...I've got to go ....

Bi...m.c.g. 

                                              RISING AND LEVITATION. FAREWELL TO TIBET.



The Big Monk (BM) and Mary Goggin.

BM - Mary, are you ready to leave the world?

Mary- Gulp. Uh Ah, I see. You mean ready to purify my soul. Sure, you may bet I am. I want to be able to play levitation. How long will it take to learn how to?

BM - Mary, as you probably know, Buddha will ask you to leave all your things to the Poor.

May - Sure, I was aware of. It is just like our Saint Francis. He undressed himself in the street and and gave all his cloths to the beggars. Shall I undress myself now? Would you like me naked?

BM- Mary, here is a form to submit for approval. If approved, you may start you apprentiship as a shao-lin nun. Fill it, please.

Mary- Sure, Master. Le me see... Name Mary, Country Ireland, Swiss bank account code number..., ehr, Master...

BM - Yes, Mary?

Mary- Cannot believe, I was just watching all that snow our of the window, and..

BM - Your soul is looking for whiteness and purity.

Mary- Well, at sudden I realized I was missing the green fields of Ireland. I am not sure I am ready to leave the world, as you say.

BM - Look up to the sky, Mary. Look down to the earth. Look in the middle to the snowy mountain. Get rid of your body.

Mary - Master, guess what.

BM - What, Mary?

Mary- I am not sure I switched off gas-fire in my kitchen, before leaving._